random acts

(1) A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her. (2) After stopping for
drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20
mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to
Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free
ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. (3) An American
teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds
received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. (4) A mother
took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination
to determine the cause of her daughter's swollen abdomen. It only took
the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Your daughter is pregnant." The
mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her
daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by
having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched
the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out
the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am
paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a
star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I was just
checking. (5) When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at its
intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He
peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
(6) The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of
its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost
finger. The chef's claim was approved. Bonus extra (7) A passenger in a
taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver
screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the
curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few
moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, Please,
don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me." The
passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't
realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which
the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today
is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last
25 years.
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